My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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