so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
