seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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