I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
