my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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