i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
