i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
