I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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