You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
