i was rollin on her like bob the builder
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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