She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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