the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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