So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
