What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
