I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
