What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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