Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your shirt... Was in my pants
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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