whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
