Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
