I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
