Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
