how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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