Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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