OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
