She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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