im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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