the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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