you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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