You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
