And the cops told us we were all naked.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
