There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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