Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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