my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
