The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Randomize
