i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Life is so much better after having sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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