I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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