I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
