I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
