At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
