I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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