Don't make out with my wife yet
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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