Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
