D3 body, D1 cock
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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