My pussy is not your playground.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
