shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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