They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
