You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
