Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
