So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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