At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
