just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
