Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
sex in a hospital.. check
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
