I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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