just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
