like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
