He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
