btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
