He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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