Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
