Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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