Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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