If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
