5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
