he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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