around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
