she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
