think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
