ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
